FUKKKK. Where do I even start with our trip?
It was two weeks in Bali. One week for a bucks party, one week solo. Not sure which one was more dangerous.
I had a drinking problem back then (still do, but now I just don’t drink) and used to binge hard. Bali is an
interesting place for that—you can end up in some absolutely wild situations, as we did. But you can also have an amazing time.
The first night was pretty mellow. After an eight-hour flight, we just grabbed dinner and called it a night.
The next five days? A total blur.
One night, we made a pact: every 7-Eleven we passed, we had to buy a drink. The drink of choice? Some knockoff Jack Daniels (I can’t even remember the name). That decision set the tone for what turned into our own Hangover movie.
- We had a dance battle with two of the 7-Eleven staff in one of the stores.
- A ladyboy grabbed my junk in a bar and told me they’d love to “stick it in their ass.”
- Got a rub and tug, and my nails done at the same time.
- We bought mushrooms from a random shop (legal, we think?).
- Helped a stallholder chase down a bogan Aussie who’d stolen a shirt—only to watch him get absolutely smashed by a car.
- Got swarmed by three guys trying to sell me weed while a cop was watching. They wouldn’t back off, so I had to punch one to get away. (If you didn’t know, some dealers work with cops: they hand you the drugs, the cop cuffs you, takes a bribe, then gives the drugs back to the dealer. This cop just laughed when the dealers bolted.)
- Came back to the villa to find out one of the bucks had actually taken a ladyboy home—completely unaware because he was so hammered.
- Finally found the buck passed out around the toilet, with the bathroom covered in black spew from the knockoff Jack Daniels.
And that was just
day one.
The next day was meant to be a chill day. But then we took mushrooms and went to a water park. One of the guys fell off the side of a slide, ended up in an ambulance, and spent the next four days in the hospital.
After that, we discovered Bintang Limes. We bought a case between the two of us left, smashed through the carton in one afternoon, only to realize they were super low ABV. We were basically pissing it out faster than we could drink it—no buzz whatsoever.
We decided to go white-water rafting next. Mid-ride, I got flung out of the boat, my leg wrapped around one of the ropes, and I smacked my head on the rocks underwater. I couldn’t pull myself up, and they struggled to haul me back into the boat. That was... intense.
For the second week, I decided to head up to Ubud, thinking I could have my
Eat Pray Love moment. Ubud is all about yoga and relaxation—a chilled-out vibe.
So naturally, I found a bar playing the UFC, drank until 1 a.m., and got absolutely smashed. Instead of going left out of my hotel, I went right. I ended up wandering through rice fields in the middle of the night. I got so lost I eventually climbed into someone’s house in the rice fields and passed out on their couch. They woke me up and chased me out. Still lost, I tried sleeping in a school I found. Eventually, I stumbled my way back to my hotel (no idea how), only to realize it was 100 meters
left of the bar I started at.
That earned me a two-day hangover.
After that, I thought, “Maybe I should cool it on the drinking.” I spent the rest of the trip relaxing, staying sober, and actually having a great time—no drama, no chaos, just enjoying Bali for what it is.
Bali I give it a 2/10
Would not do again.
Unfortunately I have nearly every trip iv ever done iv got stories like this due to my drinking habits.
I’m glad I’ve done this year sober (apart from 1 slip up) because some of the shit that iv put myself in I have no idea how iv ever made it out alive
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and enjoyed the sights.
